Monthly Archives: May 2014

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

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I have been struggling lately. Health problems seem unending. Money is tight. Familial relationships are strained. Menopause makes me feel like a weepy fool. There is a set point in the future when things should get better for our family, but it feels so far away. It’s easy to lose sight of, or to feel like it is out of reach. What-ifs wash over me and try to drag my hope with them. I am completely overwhelmed, but my God is not. He has met every need out of His great abundance, and I have faith He will continue to do so. Would you pray for me? For my family? And if I can do the same for you, please let me know.

I try to focus on enjoying making memories with the children, on moving forward to get our family into a better situation, when I am able. Which seems to never be enough of the time. But that is a thought I can’t focus on, because it becomes a cyclone of depression. No, better to just hold onto this train for dear life and try to keep my eyes on the pin dot of light ahead.

Broken Is Beautiful–Living With Anxiety and Depression

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An honest portrayal of struggling with mental health and motherhood. Like her, I bite my nails and struggle with chronic insomnia. God gave us the gift of modern medicine, and I am not ashamed to take what I need to live the best life that I can.

graceglimmers

Broken is beautiful. #AnxietyAndDepression #GrandmasCup #MedicineIsOkay

My struggles with anxiety and depression are personal.  I do share at times, and at other times I keep these hidden in the cupboard of my heart.  As a part of Hello Mornings, an online group of encouraging ladies who study the Bible together daily, our leader challenged us today to share a picture that reflects our testimony.  This is it for me.

I am me.  I am broken.  I am beautiful.  I’m living proof that God redeems hearts, minds, and bodies.  I have given birth to two beautiful boys.  They are now nearly 5 and 8 years old.  It was not easy becoming a mom.  I thought it was my dream!  It is my dream.  But, at times it was a nightmare.  I struggled greatly with becoming a stay at home mom with our first son.  It was lonely.  It was joyful.  The highs and lows of motherhood…

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Weaning During Menopause

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For anyone else who may be facing this unpleasant (to say the least) combo.

One of my concerns when surgical menopause became necessary was, would my breastmilk supply be affected? My surgeon assured me that lactation is not controlled by estrogen; I might have a dip in supply, but should have no trouble nursing as long as baby and I desired. With my daughter’s second birthday coming only a few weeks after the surgery, a dip in supply didn’t worry me. I did not foresee the added pain and difficulty this minor side effect would bring.

This is not the first child I have allowed to dry nurse for comfort as my supply dwindled, so I knew it would hurt. But my son was generally satisfied with dry nursing for comfort. He fussed a little the first week or two that it started to happen, but he adjusted quickly and, shortly after my milk dried up completely, he lost interest. This poor child is NOT happy. She pulls away and tells me, “Mommy, I sad! Nurse empty!” And cries. She’s breaking my heart. I just have to tell her “I know, baby,” as I choke back my own tears. This just feels like one more area where I am falling short as a mother. My kids are generally happy and healthy. They are smart and polite. There are a lot of things I’ve done right by them, but oh how the devil likes to throw my shortcomings in my face. Especially those of my body, the ones that are beyond my control. Oh, he just loves to make me feel like dirt when I cannot meet my own June Cleaver standards. But you know what, you ol devil? Christ’s grace is sufficient. I am sufficient. This is not going to ruin my child and I certainly won’t let it ruin me.

Suicide: A High School Student Takes Her Life

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Suicide:  A High School Student Takes Her Life

My heart breaks for this young woman and her family. I relate to so much of what she said. We must remember, there is ALWAYS hope. ALWAYS.

Failure to Listen

Maddie Yates took her life in last month April 2014. One of her best friends, Brianna Berrier, had taken her life one year earlier. Mattie and others planned a fundraising walk to increase awareness of suicide prevention. Below is a transcript of her final Youtube tape titled “Important.”

A Still from Final Video A Still from Final Video

A High School Student Committed Suicide After Posting A Message Of Her Intent On YouTube

I know it’s not OK for me to be doing this, but I just can’t do this anymore. It feels like I’m being swallowed whole into myself. It physically hurts. Sometimes it hurts so bad that I throw up, and sometimes I just get panic attacks. I know this is selfish. You know, the doctor prescribed Prozac for depression and anxiety, but those are just fancy words for “selfish.” I know that I’m going to hurt everyone who loves me, and I really…

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8 Things not to say to someone who has cancer or any chronic illness.

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8 Things not to say to  someone who has cancer or any chronic illness.

I don’t know what to say about this, but I love you all, whether I know you or not. And I mean that.

Today’s post comes from Live Brave founder and creator, Lesley Glenn

Note:  There is no Vlog today due to an allergic reaction I woke up with yesterday and my face still being swollen today.  I would rather you not focus on my puffy eyes for ten minutes.  (insert vain sarcasm and a wink here)

8thingsnottosaytosomeonewhohascancer

We have all done it.

Stuck our foot in our mouths when all we want  to do is be encouraging to someone who is going through a rough patch.

I know I have.

After being diagnosed with breast cancer, I became the landing pad for many “thoughtless” comments.   I know that most of the comments being made are never  intentionally meant to hurt but rather to encourage.  However, some statements are better left unsaid not only to the cancer patient but to anyone who may suffer from a chronic condition.

Here are my top 8 remarks and comments that…

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